Tuesday, 3 September 2019

The Weeping Bride ( Filmscript ) by Umoru Haruna 10/18/2017



The Weeping Bride
Filmscript

Umoru Haruna
10/18/2017






INT. DAY.TAYOS HOTEL ROOM
FADE IN
Solemn sound
A bride (TAYO) paces, sits softly on the floor leans by the bed, bows her head. Wedding paraphernalia dots the room; Quran, bouquet, gifts items hand fan flowers decorations bow tie, shoes male and female mans suit etc. on bed! TAYO raises her head to reveal her tears. She is about twenty five years of age, Beautiful. Door opens to reveal DEJI. DEJI is a man of thirty years of age. He is not properly dressed. TAYO puts her hands around her tummy to reveal a baby bump. TAYO laments
TAYO
Oh! Oh! Oh! On my wedding night!
TAYO bites her finger shakes her head in anguish. DEJI looks on
BEGINNING FLASHBACK 1
INT. NIGHT. ROSES HOTEL ROOM
DIMLIGHT
EROTIC MUSIC
Door slowly opens to reveal TAYO in a wedding dress. She slowly widens her eyes at the sight before her. Dim light from window reveal DEJI and ROSE on bed. Flashlight drops from TAYO’s hand.  TAYO covers her mouth. ROSE opens her eyes from her ecstasy tries to cover her face with the sheaths. DEJI turns back suddenly to face TAYO. DEJI sweats profusely. Tayo gaps for breath staggers backward hits the wall screams turns swiftly and runs off.
END OF FLASHBACK 1
INT. DAY. TAYO’S HOTEL ROOM
DEJI kneels down by TAYO’s side
DEJI
Tayo! Tayo! T-love!
DEJI’s touch on TAYO’s shoulder wakes her up. TAYO looks over her shoulder removes DEJIS hand from it gently
DEJI (CONT.)
You weren’t in the mood…! …I!
TAYO
So you jumped to her bed
My ….! My…! Oh God…!
DEJI
You declined my advances
TAYO rises
TAYO
 Stop-it…! I am four months pregnant. Couldn’t you have waited for one night?
Pause 6 beats
TAYO (CONT.)
Tell me, since when have you been…!
ROSE is by the door. TAYO realizes that DEJI is distracted catches ROSE exchange gestures with DEJI. ROSE makes apologetic gestures at TAYO. DEJI signals her to leave. TAYO tenses up! ROSE leaves.
TAYO
… chiefbride's maid!
TAYO scoffs turns taps her head sits at the edge of the bed. TAYO turns against DEJI, bows her head.
BEGINNING FLASHBACK 2
INT. DAY. WEDDING HALL
TAYO and DEJI by alter. TAYO is distracted UNCLE BALO makes way to seat with MUMMY. MUMMY and UNCLE BALOchat and giggle. MUMMY excitedly points at TAYO and DEJI. UNCLE BALO looks at TAYO stops smiling,leans forward removes his glasses he is wide eyed. MUMMY tugs UNCLE BALO’s garment making him to sit. DEJI notices TAYO’s distraction looks toward her gaze sees UNCLE BALO leans to TAYO whispers into her ears
DEJI
That is my dad!
TAYO
Your…! Your…! …D…D…Dad?
TAYO staggers rests on DEJI for support ROSE assists TAYO. ROSE fans TAYO as TAYO is offered a seat.
END OF FLASHBACK 2
INT. DAY.TAYO’S HOTEL ROOM.
TAYO is still in bowing position
TAYO
Oh! I am ruined!
TAYO raises her head clutches her hands behind her head.
TAYO
This marriage is ruined!
DEJI closes on TAYO


DEJI
Don’t say that! It will not …!
MUMMY ( O.S.)
Iyawo mi da? I- ya-wo!
MUMMY appears by the door
MUMMY (CONT.)
Newly weds’ door opened this early! Why?
MUMMY walks in
TAYO
Good morning ma!
MUMMY
How are you my daughter! How was your night?
MUMMY winks at TAYO. TAYO starts sobbing.
DEJI
Mummy!
MUMMY
Deji! What is the matter? …my daughter why this moping since yesterday? Deji!
MUMMY looks at DEJI. DEJI moves away, raising his shoulder. TAYO looks at DEJI hisses lightly and turns away from MUMMY and DEJI. TAYO still sits on the floor.

MUMMY
Common, cheer up! The Akarakirifamily takes good care of their women!
MUMMY stands up to display her body
MUMMY(CONT.)
Can’t you see me? I tell you just three weeks with my son you will be amazed at your size and look! Relax! You are in a good house!
MUMMY sits
MUMMY(CONT.)
By the way, I saw your friend, the chief brides maid, leave in such a hurry, Unannounced. Why?
DEJI
School work!…Earlymorning test?
MUMMY
Test? Otio…! Even at that you should have…! The girl really tried yesterday. She is a very responsible girl!
TAYO
Don’t mind him. I caught them in bed!
MUMMY
Otio?

TAYO
DEJI and ROSE. Can you imagine? Deji cheated on me on our wedding night with my…! My….! With her!
MUMMY
No wonder! DEJI why? Olosholomo yen ooo! And I thought she was very responsible. Well she is gone. The important thing is that your husband is here with you. That is men for you even his father, you’ve never met him! Uncle balo here! Uncle balo there! Wogbagbeeee! We only need to be patient for them!
MUMMY goes to TAYO hugs her
MUMMY (CONT.)
Cheer up! Hold on to your husband
TAYO looks at MUMMY heaves and stares ahead of her. MUMMY rocks TAYO playfully.
BEGINNING FLASHBACK 3
INT. DAY.WEDDING HALL
TAYO is seated looks back at to see UNCLE BALO. UNCLE BALO RISES
TRANSITION
UNCLE BALO moves away by the isle
TRANSITON
UNCLE BALO by exit
TRANSITION
UNCLE BALO looks back at TAYO and DEJI turns away bows his head shakes his head as he walks out of the hall. ROSE and TAYO exchange glances with each other.
END FLASHBACK 3
INT. DAY. TAYO’s HOTEL ROOM
Tears wells up TAYOP’s face
MUMMY
Tayo!  Tayo! Tayo!
TAYO wakes up from her trance
MUMMY
This is serious. DEJI!
TAYO sobs DEJI and MUMMY stand watching.
OLORI-EBI (OS)
Deji! Deji! Deji! Open this door!
DEJI
Baba agba!
DEJI opens the door OLORI-EBI and UNCLE BALO enter. OLORI-EBI looks straight at TAYO intently. UNCLE BALO stone faced goes to sit down.
DEJI
Daddy. E ka aro sir!
MUMMY
E karo baba. E je unomope. E pe fun wa!
OLORI-EBI
O kare! Aya mi!
TAYO rises
DEJI
Daddy! You are here !you’ll finally meet my wife-tayo!
TAYO wants to greet
OLORI-EB
His is not your wife?
MUMMY                  DEJI
Ah! Ah!   Baba!
MUMMY and DEJI look at OLORI-EBI, each other then at TAYO.
OLORI-EBI
Oh yes! …Tayo or whatever you call yourself. You will, this instant, pack your things and go to your parents or wherever Deji picked you from! Deji you can’t go home with this harlot!
MUMMY
Baba!
Mummy and DEJI look at TAYO. TAYO is in tears. TAYO looks at UNCLE BALO. UNCLE BALO turns away!
BEGINNING FLASHBACK 4
INT. DAY. HOTEL ROOM
UNCLE BALO gives money to TAYO. TAYO collects it goes on to count it. They are both in towels. UNCLE BALO renders a haughty laughter
UNCLE BALO
Good girl. I enjoyed every second of your performance. You are superb!
UNCLE BALO hugs TAYO from behind
UNCLE BALO (CONT.)
TAYO
Giggling.
Like… seriously…! Eeeyaaaah! But it will take a while before you see me again!
UNCLE BALO
 Oh! You said you are getting married!
UNCLE BALO muffles a sinister laughter
 UNCLE BALO
MH…! Mh! Mh! M-a-rr-ie-d! I pity and envy the poor lad.
TAYO
Eyinlemo!
UNCLE BALO
 Have this to remind you that I await your pleasure as a married woman!
UNCLE BALO tucks a wad of money into TAYO’s bosom.
TAYO
Ehn….ehn! you mean it?
TAYO and UNCLE BALO laugh as UNCLE BALO rocks TAYO back to bed.
END FLASHBACK 4
INT.DAY. TAYO’S HOTEL ROOM
Close up UNCLE BALO with tayo at background

OLORI-EBI
Ooooh! Yes!
Sound stops suddenly
OLORI-EBI
I am putting this marriage a-sun-der! Deji! Would you marry a girl that sleep with another man when she is already two months pregnant for another whom she engaged to be married to in a fortnight?
DEJI                        MUMMY
What?    O tiooo!
OLORI-EBI
I’ve not finished! More so when the wo men are father and son!
DEJI
What!
DEJI looks at UNCLE BALO . UNCLE BALO shakes his legs looks away. DEJI looks at TAYO silence UNCLE BALO rests on his seat shuts his eyes leans backward with hands clutched behind his head.
MUMMY
Daddy deji!
MUMMY DEJI gives UNCLE BALO a scornful look. MUMMY looks at TAYO scoffs and claps her hand in wonder.
DEJI
T-love…! Tell me it is not true!
Pause. TAYO lowers her head. Tear drops cascade her face. DEJI drops his hands, Moves backward from TAYO. He shakes head in bewilderment.
OLORI-EBI
I guess not. O kare!
Tayo LOOKS AT deji
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
So you see why you must immediately return to wherever you came from with your pregnancy!
TAYO puts a hand on her tummy as she looks at the baby bump. OLORI-EBI rises
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
I ekun baba were the head of the warrior family of Akarakiri family of ikareekiti will not seat and allow abomination to soil or even dwell in Akarakiri lineage. Never! That bastard in your tummy who owns it? Is it my son or his father? It could even belong to another man! I don’t care!
TAYO opens her mouth as if she wants to talk but her voice fails her. Slowly TAYO begins to pack her things in succession.  Action continues she ends by going to the toilet to change.MUMMY moves to UNCLE BALO
MUMMY
Daddy Deji. You see yourself? Just because you could not ti your shokoto. Uncle Balo here! Uncle Balo there! Uncle B!Se o tan! Agbaya!
UNCLE BALO looks at MUMMY
OLORI-EBI
Woman! Are you starting that while I am still standing here?
MUMMY
E ma bi nu si mi babba!
OLORI-EBI
Better! Don’t mind him! Agbayalon se! We have reprimanded him before coming here.
UNCLE BALO bows his head forward.
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
Not that what he did was good. We will not kill him! Had he not had the courage to confess, we would not know the harlot that she was. The ‘iseku se’ may even continue ! Abomination!
DEJI SHUTS his eyes in pains. TAYO comes out of the bathroom she picks the marriage certificate OLORI-EBI snatches it from her. Slowly begins to tear it into shreds
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
Take all the gift , the shoes, the gown
MUMMY picks the wedding gown throws it at TAYO
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
Even, the wedding ring.‘Saaaraahni yen’! You’ll need them in your next wedding. That is if it will happen!
OLORI-EBI throws the pieces at TAYO. TAYO stiffens she is in silent tears.
OLORI-EBI (CONT.)
….but, not the marriage certificate!
TAYO holds her bag picks the Quran surveys the surrounding then resumes her movement. DEJI rises.
DEJI
T-love! Tayo! Tayo!
TAYO stops, does not look back. Silence. OLORI0-EBI, MUMMY and UNCLE BALO look at DEJI. Silence.DEJI looks at them TAYO resumes. TAYO walks out of the room.
FADE OUT
The End
Omar
18.10.17
Ejigbo.


SAIDO AND THE POLIZE (A screenplay) by Umoru Haruna


















SAIDO AND THE POLIZE
(A screenplay)
by
AUTHOR UmoruHaruna



EXT.DAY. STREET.
SAIDO walks down the street. He goes to buy bread, groundnut and sachet water. His money is not enough. SAIDO pleads with the seller. She obliges him. Seller gives SAIDO an additional sachet of water. SAIDO thanks her and leaves. The SELLER looks pitifully at SAIDO. SAIDO looks at the things he just bought. He gulps down one of the sachet of water. He throws the nylon away carelessly. He continues his journey yanks of an edge of the nylon he is holding starts chopping the bread and chewing the groundnut in his hand. SAIDO gets to a shaded place sits down leans against the tree and continue his meal.
EXT.DAY.MINI VAN ON ROAD
Three men in black and a driver are in the van. The van moves slowly.
YOHANA
Oga! Today dry …oooh! No single person for road!
INSPECTOR
True e dry, but na small thing! People must come out we must catch somebody! Someone must be on the road. People have refused to commit crime!
YOHANA
And if there is no crime we become jobless! Weting we go chop?
KAYODE
And oga for top want us to bring criminals
INSPECTOR (CONT)
Ooooh yes! That is the business! If people don’t want to commit crime you make them commit one! -Criminalize them! Joblessness!
YOHANA              KAYODE
Na offence       Na offence
INSPECTOR
Wandering
YOHANA              KAYODE
Na offence        Na offence
INSPECTOR
Smoking especially weeeeeed! Igbo!
YOHANA               KAYODE
Na offence      Na offence
INSPECTOR
Fighting! In public!
YOHANA                 KAYODE
Na offence          Na offence
INSPECTOR
Having no identity card!
YOHANA            KAYODE
Na offence           Na offence
INSPECTOR
No Voter’s car
YOHANA                  KAYODE
Na offence           Na offence
INSPECTOR
Anything and everything!
YOHANA                  KAYODE
Na offence           Na offence
INSPECTOR
Once they get to the station, oga Jonah will create the offence! Yohana!
YOHANA
 Sir!
INSPECTOR
A man resting under a tree!
YOHANA                 KAYODE
Na offence          Na offence
INSPECTOR
Nuisance! Miscreant! Jobless man! Wanderer! Public embarrassment!
YOHANA              KAYODE
Na offence        Na offence
INSPECTOR
Kamoru!
DRIVER
Yes sha!
INSPECTOR
INSPECTOR (C0NTD)
Block him down!
DRIVER accelerates towards SAIDO
EXT. DAY. STREET
SAIDO is dozing with his food by his side. His sachet water is pouring away from his hand. Van speeds on towards SAIDO stops suddenly close to SAIDO with heavy beeping. Saido wakes suddenly and is prevented from escaping by YOHANA and KAYODE who alighted even before the van halted.
YOHANA
She-e-e-ge! Get up!
KAYODE
Enter moto!
SAIDO
Which moto?
KAYODE
You blind?
SAIDO looks around surprised. KAYODE gives him a slap from behind.
SAIDO
Oga! wetin I do?
YOHANA and KAYODE manhandle SAIDO. INSPECTOR comes down from the vehicle
INSPECTOR
Easy boys! Easy!
YOHANA          KAYODE
Tion sir!           sonshaaaaa!
YOHANA and KAYODE salute INSPECTOR in grotesque manner.
INSPECTOR
Be gentle, be civil, he is our friend!
YOHANA          KAYODE
The police!   Is your friend!
YOHANA
You make oga come down.
KAYODE
 Another offence
SAIDO
wetinido? Who are you?
YOHANA
Shaaaraaap!
KAYODE
iwoooomojuabi? You don’t know police?
INSPECTOR
Easy officers! Easy! Boy what is your name? And, what are you doing here?
SAIDO
Saido. Just dey rest!



INSPECTOR(CONTD)
Saido-just-they-rest? Who gave you that name? Your papa?
SAIDO
Saidona my name! Me I rest here!
INSPECTOR
Oookay !Let’s see!-Your I. D.
SAIDO
I no get!
INSPECTOR
-Your national I.D!
SAIDO
I no get. I beEkitikete!
INSPECTOR
Illegal immigrant! Togolese!
SAIDO
No! Ekiti!
Inspector
Let’s see your voter’s card!
SAIDO
I no dey vote!
INSPECTOR
You seee! You are a bloody fool! Enter the van! Now!
SAIDO
SAIDO(CONTD)
Oga!To go-where?
YOHANA
You are under automatic arrest!
SAIDO
Arrest?For wetin?
KAYODE
You go know for tey-son!
INSPECTOR
Boys!
YOHANA            KAYODE
Tuualeee!!     Son shaaaaaah!!
Boys assume grotesque attention postures.
INSPECTOR
Are you wasting time on this idiot! …this bastard! Buuundlehiiiim!
SAIDO and YOHANA collide with each other in their confused frenzy.  The scuffle continues. SAIDO resists arrest
SAIDO
Meeni lo see! I no go go! Ma kusibeee! Meee lo tey son!Peesin no get work, he deymonage. You say tey son! Enter moto! Me ni enter see!
INSPECTOR (CONTD)
SHARRAP! So you want to prove you are stubborn,abi? You are a suspect infact a criminal, a convict!
SAIDO
Na criminal, to rest! I chop groundnut and bread. I,nogo rest?Na criminal, to siddon rest?
KAYODE
If you like siddon look! Na offence! Abi?
YOHANA
Na offence! Oga don talk am!
INSPECTOR
The police must be proactive! You can’t commit that crime you’ve planned
SAIDO
Which crime?
YOHANA
Youuuuask  oga question! You go know for station
KAYODE
Oyangtey son! You go smell your mama yansh!
SAIDO
Oga no call my mama!
KAYODE
Your mama yansh!
YOHANA
And your papa!
INSPECTOR
Okay! Where do you live?
SAIDO
Back of this street, with my friends
INSPECTOR
Your fri-i-i-e-e-ends! Fantastic! You mean your criminal friends! I want to know them! Yohana! Oya!
YOHANA and KAYODE look at each other suddenly resume attempt to bundle SAIDO into the van. Youth gather,
SAIDO
Na lie! I no go go! Kill me! Kayoed!Omo Yoruba nieeeoooo!
KAYODE
sarrap! I am on duty don’t call my name!
SAIDO
I wan dieooooh! E gba mi oooo! They done kill me oooo!!
YOHANA and KAYODE are ruffied YOHANA’s trousers are falling off. KAYODE’S shirt is loosened.
YOHANA
Oga! This boy stubborn!
KAYODE
Gidigan!
INSPECTOR
Don’t tell me that! He is criminal. Break him! …tame him! If need be break his bones! Throw him into the van!
Pause
INSPECTOR (CONT.D)
Boy!Do you know I can shoot you?
SAIDO
Oya! Suutuuuu! Suutuu! Suut me! Emi gaansafekusibee!Mo lo siteey-son
YOUTH (1)
What is happening here!
YOUTH (2)
Ekiti kilo jiiiii?
SAIDO
Me man jaleeee!
Jeejee mi,mo je burediatiepa! Me I je tan
SAIDO shows them the remaining bread!
SAIDO(CONTD)
TI orun fi kun mi ki n si fi egbe le lenibei a ya fi gbagbogbigbegba! Ta jitimo ta jiaya fi awonalasodudu.Aya fi enter,…entermoto! Kini  nselekinimoseayafitey son! Tey son! Enter moto! Kining lo senitey son? Me legbonnitey son me niaburonitey son!Tey son ati je?Me jaale. I no thief! No brother for teyson!I no go tey son!
INSPECTOR
You no go station!
INSPECTOR brings out a note pad and pen. Writes!
INSPECTOR (CONTD)
Resisting arrest!
A YOUTH
Oga! Wetin he do?
INSPECTOR
Will you shut up!…And mind your business! Now, everybody, go to your shop!
ALL YOUTH
We no get shop!
INSPECTOR
Go to your work!
ALL YOUTH
We no get work!
INSPECTOR
OH! I see! You are his friends! All criminals
ALL YOUTH
Yes! All criminals!
A YOUTH
Police!
ALL YOUTH
Criminal!
A YOUTH
Inspector
ALL YOUTH
Criminal
A YOUTH
Recruit
ALL YOUTH
Criminal
INSPECTOR
I will arrest all of youth
A youth goes to close the door.
INSPECTOR
Who closed this door?
No answer
INSPECTOR
Oya! Yohana open this door!
YOHANA
Sir!
YOHANA goes to open the door.SIR KAY comes to join them.
SIR KAY
Officer! What is the problem?
INSPECTOR
Shurruuup! Who are you to ask me that question?
INSPECTOR faces YOHANA
INSPECTOR
Yohana you mean you cannot bundle this r-r-r-a-a-a-t
YOHANA                  KAYODE
No sir!           Yes shaaaah!
YOHANA and KAYODE are at attention.
Inspector
What?
YOHANA
All correct sir!
INSPECTOR
Action!
YOHANA and KAYODE resume bundling SAIDO into the van, the youth obstruct them.
SIR KAY
Boys! Deflate the tyres
INSPECTOR
Who said that!
SIR KAY
Me!
INSPECTOR
INSPECTOR (CONTD)
Okay so you are the guy man! Do you know that I am an officer of the law? Do you know what you just said is tantamount to obstructing an officer of the law from carrying out his official duty? Yohana arrest this man!
YOHANA
S-S-I-R?
INSPECTOR
Arrest this man.
YOHANA
Oga this rat never enter moto!
INSPECTOR
Are you mad! Arrest the two of them!
SIR KAY
Not only two of us arrest all of us!
KAYODE
Oga them don plenty pass us oooooo!
INSPECTOR
Attention!
YOHANA
Sir!
SIR KAY
SIR KAY (CONTD)
Ok! To make it easier for you we arrest ourselves! Everybody enter the van!
All the youths scramble for space in the van some settle atop the van. They beat the body of the van to a rhythmic state the van is bouncing under their effect.
KAMORU
Please o na small moto. I beg officer do something!
A YOUTH
Kin na fi do something?
All YOUTH
Owona fi do something oo!
A YOUTH
Kina fi do something?
YOUTHS
Owona fi do sometin o!
A YOUTH
Ofe lo malay
YOUTHS
Owona fi do some thing
A YOUTH
ofefeomo to san
YOUTHS
Owona fi do something!
A YOUTH
Oferamoto!
ALL YOUTH
Owona fi do something!
A YOUTH
OFE SE UM AH! Iknow you understand!
All YOUTH
Sure! We understand!Owona fi se hum ha!-Do something oh!
INSPECTOR is humbled
SIR KAY
Enough, is enough! You can’t just come to our hood and pick innocent people as if they are rats, pests that need to be eroded! We have rights! We know our rights!
INSPECTOR
So you go school!
SIR KAY
Well, well! Not everybody in the ghetto is illiterate, you know!
INSPECTOR
Eenheeeeen!
SIR KAY
Had I wanted to be a police man I would’ve been your superior years ago.
KAYODE
My oga!oga!
INSPECTOR
I knew it! You are a guy-man!
SIR KAY
What guy-man? I’ve two diplomas and two degrees if that makes me a guy-man then I’m a guy-man! Your system did not give me a job! So I chose to be a tailor! Now I pay tax, levies and business permit to a system that does not recognize me. Yet you still come to harass my people! So why won’t I be a guy-man? Oya! To the station!
INSPECTOR
Your people!
INSPECTOR looks at SIR KAY surveys the youths and his incompetent police men! The YOUTHS continue their frenzy.
A YOUTH
Kin na fi do something?
All YOUTH
Owona fi do something oo!
A YOUTH
Kina fi do something?
YOUTHS
Owona fi do sometin o!
A YOUTH
Ofe lo malay
YOUTHS
Owona fi do some thing
A YOUTH
ofefeomo to san
YOUTHS
Owona fi do something!
A YOUTH
Oferamoto!
ALL YOUTH
Owona fi do something!
A YOUTH
OFE SE UM AH! I know you understand!
All YOUTH
Sure! We understand! Owona fi se hum ha!-Do something oh!
INSPECTOR(CONT.)
So you are a hustler! Yahoo yahoo! Guy-man!
SIR KAY
The system does not provide!
A YOUTH
And you must do something
ALL YOUTH
Owona fin do something ooooo!
SIR KAY
We hustle!
A YOUTH
All  of us na hustle!
ALL YOUTH
Owona fin do something oooo!
INSPECTOR
I will arrest you! All of you!
Inspector brings out his note pad
INSPECTOR
Obstruction!
ALL YOUTH
eeee!
INSPECTOR
Con…con…coninnivance! conspire!
ALL YOUTH
Eeee!
INSPECTOR
wandering!
ALL YOUTH
Eeee!
INSPECTOR
Constituting societal nuisance!
ALL YOUTH
Eeee!
INSPECTOR
Disturbing public peace!
ALL YOUTH
EEEE!
A YOUTH puffs out smoke
INSPECTOR
Smoking weed and consuming substance!
ALL YOUTH
Eeee!
INSPECTOR
I will arrest you for unemployment and four-One-Nine!
ALL YOUTH
Eeeee!
SIR KAY
Let us go! We are already in the van! What are you waiting for?come loin us at the station
A YOUTH
On foot!
A YOUTH
orokada! Ki na fin g do something?
ALL YOUTH
Owona fin ng do something ooooo!
A YOUTH
In fact take!
A YOUTH offers INSPECTOR money
A YOUTH
Kin na fin ng do something?
ALL YOUTH
Owona fin do something oooooo!
ALL YOUTH laugh. Continue singing derisive song and kina fin do something song. They are in a frenzy beating the van as musical instrument. INSPECTOR marks sentry. INSPECTOR stops!
INSPECTOR
Will you all get out of this van, this vehicle, this moto? This instant!
ALL YOUTH
NOOOOOO!
SIR KAY
We are going to your station! Which station officer?
INSPECTOR
You are mad!
SIR KAY
Yes I am M-A-D! making a difference! You ngko?
INSPECTOR
Do you know I can shoot you one by one?
There is silence. SIR KAY jumps out of the vanspreads his shirt to reveal his chest
SIR KAY
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot me!
INSPECTOR fidgets takes a snipper stance cocks his gun,but does not shoot
INSPECTOR
Don’t make me do something!
Silence.
SIR KAY
OYA do something!
Inspector relaxes uncocks his gun
SIR KAY
Ki ni won fin ng do something
ALL YOUTH
Owonafinngdo something!
ALL YOUTHS resume their frenzy and singing.
INSPECTOR
Yohana! This is a situation! Call ogajonah! Now!
YOHANA brings out his cell phone. A youth collects other youths come out of the van and they toss the phone around as YOHANA scampers to and fro to retrieve it. The phone darts around and finally disappear!
YOHANA
Oga! My …phone! …is missing! Stolen!
INSPECTOR
INSPECTOR (CONTD)
Stolen! Ok!
INSPECTOR brings out pad writes.
INSPECTOR
Steals policeman’s property! Guy-man! You are in soup!
SIR KAY
Let’s lick it!
The youths laugh
SIR KAY
Driver! Oya enter the van take us to the station!
KAMORU
I don’t know
Oga sir kay,tell your people to come down, this moto no fit carry everybody.Them go damage my moto!
SIR KAY
So it is for arresting only one person at a time. Which station?
KAMORU
I don’t know,
SIR KAY
I suspect this people.
SIR KAY turns to INSPECTOR.
SIR KAY (CONTD)
Oga show me your I.D
INSPECTOR
Wha….wha…what do you mean?
Youth start to alight from the van.
YOUTH 1
Olopa! Your ID card!
ALL YOUTH
ID card
YOUTH 2
Your voter’s card
ALL YOUTH
Voter’s Card
YOUTH
Show me your particulars
ALL YOUTH
Olopa show me your party-cola
INSPECCTOR turns to each youth that speaks but he is helpless. He becomes a caricature. INSPECTOR Sits at the edge of the entrance of the van.

INSPECTOR
Guy-man! You see what you have caused! Yohana!
YOHANA
Sir! Oga water don pass garri!
INSPECTOR
Shurrup! I am an officer of the law! I’m in charge here!
YOUTHS begin to sing derisive songs and dance round the three officers tossing them to the center. They taunt them. They pick kayode’s beret toss around. On getting it back KAYODE sneaks away!
INSPECTOR
Yohana!
YOHANA
Sir!
INSPECTOR
Where is kayoed?
YOHANA peers around sees KAYODE. Points at him and darts his eyes sideways
INSPECCTOR
copral! kayode!
No answer
INSPECTOR
Kayode! Come here this minute!
KAYODE
Sir!
INSPECCTOR
Come here this minute!
KAYODE bolts into a race to escape. The YOUTHS make a chase towards him. YOHANA escapes through the opposite side. INSPECTOR escapes through another route. The driver attempts to drive off, but, the vehicle is wedged!
A youth
Lets burn this moto!
KAMORU
I beg o! E no be police motoooo! I be driver they arrested Me too niiooo!
SIR KAY
Don’t burn the van! OgaDriver!
YOUTHS apprehend the driver.
SIR KAY
Now talk!
KAMORU
I beg oooo! I be driver looking for food!
SAIDO
And you follow police to arrest me!
DRIVER
I go school,secondary, no work! I learn welding. No work! I do house agent!
YOUTHS
No customer!
KAMORU
That is why I carry steering for korope, so I can feed my family! My wife get bele, my children, three are in private school! No government school for my area! I don’t want them to send them out of school for school fees!

SIR KAY
 We know all that! Tell us what we don’t know! How come you are with the police?
KAMORU
Korope is on higher purchase. Everyday mechanic! Everyday LASMA! Everyday VIO!
SIR KAY
You and the police!
KAMORU
Every minute! Na for police!
For three days now koropedey for mechanic! Today I come out police catch me!
A YOUTH
Are you a rat?
General laughter
SIR KAY
Let’s hear him!
KAMORU
I had no money to settle sowe settled!
SIR KAY
How?
KAMORU
I convey them to raid and at the end of the day they release me to go! They are not police men! They are agents of inspector Jonah! Their duty is to bring innocent people to the station and jonah will arrange a criminal offence against them!
YOUTHS
Ah! Ah!
SIR KAY
You see! You see! Continue!
KAMOPRU
Anyone caught will have to bail himself or call someone to bail him with money! Even children are caught and their parents made to pay for police taking care of them!
SIR KAY
Tjat is kidnapping!
YOUTHs
Ehn! Ehn!

KAMORU
At the end of the day all the agents would be given commission!
General ovation.
SIR KAY
You nko…what is your commission!
KAMORU
Nothing!
SIR KAY
Nothing?
KAMORU
Nothing!
A YOUTH
Is a lie lets beat him!
KAMORU
Nothing! If I vex they will arrest me, detain me, and my moto. And still collect money from me!
A YOUTH
Why not run away?
KAMORU
If I run today,tomorrow nko?



SAIDO
It’s a lie they are together. Let’s beat him! He nearly break my legwith moto.
SIR KAY
Nno! No! no! Don’t touch him any of us could be in his shoes. He was also a victim!
A YOUTH
Let’s go burn the station!
SIR KAY
No! We are not criminals! That is what they want us to be.
Silence
SIR KAY (cont.)
Saido
SAIDO
Egbon mi!
SIR KAY
SIR KAY puts a hand on saido’s shoulder
SIR KAY
We all see how saido resisted illegal arrest! Whenever they want to raid unlawfully we should resist them; shout, scream and even cry if need be! Let people come out and witness the so called arrest or raiding. If you don’t do so, once you are in their custody not much can be done! They can even plant anything on you!
SAIDO
Oga-jonah!
SIR KAY
 Concerning jonah, we will write a strongly worded petition against him to all concerned authority. I assure you he will be replaced.  No matter the provocation don’t ever burn a police station or any other property for that matter. Always be law abiding! Kamoru!
The YOUTHS push the driver forward
A YOUTH
Lets touch him small!
SIR KAY
Why? He is also a victim! take your van and drive off.
KAMORU
Thank you bros
SIR KAY
Let’s go back to our hustle!
The YOUTHS still give KAMORU a mock beating and beat his vehicle as it zooms off. All go away gradually as the camera fades out!
The End


UmoruHaruna
17.11. 2017
Ejigbo.